What the...?!!? I mean... buh... wha... it...
My God, it’s full of stars!
I’m linking to this video instead of embedding it on my page because I’m afraid if it appears on too many people’s screens at the same time, it’ll come to life and beam out of the screen and we’ll all be sucked into a cosmic vortex of swirly colors and blurry children and randomly appearing text and military geezer orations.
If you’re afraid to look, here’s the gist of it: John McCain is (a) the successor to Churchill and Teddy Roosevelt (in that order, which I guess means he’s moving backward in time); (b) grateful to America; (c) possibly a new Microsoft product; (d) somehow related to exploding galaxies and zooming traffic lights; (e) sort of imposing-looking, or at least taller than a podium, if you film him from below; (f) going to make sure we’ll spend our days fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting.
It’s really a challenge to try to count the unusual creative decisions in this ad. Dear Republicans, please, please, PLEASE keep making these.
(Added: Despite its total lack of making sense, this ad still seemed to say something real to me, and I finally figured out what: McCain just makes me kinda sad. I think he’s a dangerous politician, because he has a ton of aggressive energy and isn’t all that smart, but he’s clearly pretty damaged and I feel sorry for him. And this ad, instead of the Fox News-style martial thing they probably had in mind, has a kind of bleak, lost in time, slightly paranoid and lonely vibe. It’s like an ad for loading up on No-Doz and Robitussin and driving your truck all night down I-80 in the rain while wearing your grandfather’s Navy dress uniform and singing along to a dance remix of “Mairzy Doats”.)