So I dream I've got this job in a little science lab in an old dusty castle. My dapper Indian colleague and I are taking samples of something or other from a mysterious little well. Sometimes we see ants meandering up from the depths.

Today I've been noticing a weird whispery noise and, holy shit, it's coming from a gaggle of ants on the table next to me. They've figured out how to talk to us, using the noise from hundreds of little scraping legs in unison to make a bizarre but non-threatening voice. They just want to say hi and they're wondering what we're up to.

This is pretty big news and I rush out to make plans for further investigation. When I get back, bringing a skeptical senior researcher, my colleague is gone... except for his bowler hat. Thousands of ants have formed into a life-size replica of him, and it's walking around wearing the hat.

The senior researcher flees in alarm, and I'm too scared to move. The ants could pounce at any time. Even worse, there's a tour group coming through the castle, and a cute little kid and his annoying granny have walked into the lab. Fortunately the ants seem to want to just blend in, and they've studied human behavior really well, so the ant-creature manages to make some small talk, charms the granny (who doesn't notice that he's made out of ants), and makes a cup of hot chocolate for the little kid. Then he strolls out into the world.

What to do? I figure it's all over - the ants are obviously a lot smarter than us (I tell the helicopter pilot who's helping me escape: "Imagine how hard it would be for people to form themselves into a huge animated model... like, say, of Belgium, or the World's Fair"), and if they all decide to swarm at once, nowhere is safe. From the helicopter, we can see huge masses of ants streaming down from the mountains.

But it turns out it's OK. The ants don't see us as a threat, and they have no desire to eat up everything at once. They're just roaming around (some in the form of people, some not) eating trash and generally straightening things up. They own the world, but they did anyway. It'll be interesting.

1. I just got home from the clinic and it's 5:15, instead of 8:30.

2. Everyone I met today on the staff was either incredibly nice or tolerable. There are only a few people I haven't met so even if they're lousy, it's OK.

3. Compared to the hospital, the work is ridiculously easy. I don't need to heave immobile people around. I don't need to make a checklist of the five most important things to do at the top of every hour. My knowledge of how to do urgent things with scary pieces of equipment is irrelevant.

4. I'm not really concerned about that knowledge being irrelevant; if I need to work in a hospital again, I'll pick it up again. I still feel like a real nurse.

5. I don't feel too guilty about leaving my ex-co-workers behind in the bad place, because if I stayed I'd go crazy and punch people and they wouldn't appreciate that.

6. It's not all about heroin-related infections - there is some of that, but I also saw:
- A talkative elderly man who left his window open at night so a small bug got stuck in his ear.
- A guy who correctly recognized his symptoms as being liver disease.
- Several diabetics who hung around for a while to provide multiple urine samples.
- A couple whose hamster got fleas so they did too.

7. I'm told by a reliable source (a nurse who's been there a long time and is a friend of some people I know) that I absolutely won't be assigned any evening or Saturday shifts unless I request them.

8. My favorite cult-operated vegetarian restaurant is one block away.

9. A patient started yelling at us (because the doctor didn't prescribe exactly what he wanted) - and this was considered unusual.